Why The 'Lone Wolf' Mentality is Starving You of Your Humanity:
How To Become An Integrated Lone Wolf:
The Lone Wolf Mentality has eclipsed recently. If you tuned into social media. It’s nothing but—go monk mode, become a lone wolf, say no to everyone and everything.
Now, don’t get me wrong—I don’t think these sites, accounts or influencers are coming from a egregious place. Because, if they’re giving this advice on the internet it must’ve affected them positively in their life.
Saying no helps when you’re prioritizing yourself.
Going ‘monk mode’ can be beneficial for a sustainable amount of time.
Becoming a lone wolf? I don’t think it ever helps.
Because, let’s look at the facts here - If we were to ACTUALLY look at some research at the Wolves that travel alone to find a female wolf. 9/10 times they die. They get slaughtered. They get killed by the harsh terrain or they are undermanned (without their tribe) by another predator they can’t defeat.
Lone wolves almost ALWAYS never make it.
Why do I bring this up?
Because, I was once convicted and all into my business. Which, turned me into this desolate, nothing less of sheer ambition and obsessed individual who would never stop working. All I wanted to talk about was growth, business and improvement. If you didn’t? I saw you as a distraction, I saw you as a vacuum that drained the essence of improvement, making my bright apple self rot. And, I refused to rot.
The Lone Wolf Mentality is harsh:
It’s a period of time when you’re in pursuit of something larger than the evidence, skills, and equipment that you have available to you at the moment and you’re working endlessly (because of your conviction and obsession) to making what you want to happen most manifest before your own eyes. However, you face:
self doubt
life lessons
and isolation
This period of time you go against your very nature of being a human.
We’re not meant to be alone for long periods of time, even if—the thing we’re working on can pull over all our dreams together in one piece and ‘fix us’
I’ve been able to overcome this mentality that was rampant in my life for a grueling, isolated and lonely 3 years. It was nothing short of psychological warfare. I had days where I was in sheer alignment and joy for the thing I was working on made sense to me and I felt on top of the world—only, for the next day to feel such cruel self doubt that I wanted to end everything—I’m not talking about the business I was working on. And, I must say it’s been a peaceful time.
Here’s why the mentality is slowing killing you more than it’s helping you:
Community: We as humans are meant to be in community, people in society are deemed more lonely this day in age because we’re spending more time behind our screens, less in conversation and too afraid to leave our homes. And, when we do ‘go out’ its based on what I like to call — “Common shared consumptions”. Instead of going to a park, for a walk, for a workout where we can play, interact and move around together we go to: Sports games to consume, bars to drink, and casinos where we’re less able to interact with ourselves—less able to speak about the finger paintings we have to share about our life.
We fill a small, little crevice called home with everything we could possibly need, we keep our doors locked tight, and we feel all safe and sound. But we’ve completely cut ourselves off from people outside our little self protected world. We’ve replaced intrusive, real conversations with small talk, and we’ve substituted soul-barring, deep, connected living with texts and a night out together every once in a while, because the superficial stuff seems more manageable and less risky. ~ Jennie Allen
Research says that more than 3 in 5 Americans report being chronically lonely. And, it’s said that chronic loneliness is just as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day in terms of its impact on your health.
Humans are meant to be in community, the worst thing in the B.C. days wasn’t to get mauled by a bear, eat a poisonous berry, or to get attacked by other tribes—the worst event to happen to you was to get banished by your community and fend for yourself.
But, George, this is different. I’m not somebody that’s scrolling TikTok for hours upon hours, I’m working on things to help me improve personally, working on something that I’m trying to see through.
Yes, exactly.
This game is by far one of the loneliest out there. When we’re in pursuit of: a podcast, a business, a YouTube channel, or focused on getting our degree or an athlete trying to get signed by a team.
Everything is uncertain. Uncertainty, is your certainty. However, this doesn’t mean we need to shy away from our humanity, if anything—leaning towards your humanity is what helps you get through this game rather than denying it because it saves you time, effort, and energy.
Believe me - I used to deny, sacrifice and refuse everything.
Parents want breakfast? Denied—saving money and I gotta focus on the biz.
Brothers want to go to an Angel game? Denied—saving money, focus on the biz and I gotta make calls and send DM’s.
Oh, baddie from the gym wants to go out? Hahaha denied. That conversation we had said everything I needed to know, you’re not locked in. No time for distractions.
The reason why?
I felt like I had to deny myself of:
fun
enjoyment
life
To make it to where I wanted to go, that I had to push past resistance and deny my humanity.
I had this foolish mentality—one that kept me unhappy for too long…
“Once I, then i’ll”
Once I get the business, then I’ll focus on filmmaking.
Once I get the money in, then I’ll spend time with my family.
Once I get the freedom I desire, then I’ll live my life the way I want.
If your attitude and favor of mind is settled on this mentality ^^^
I promise you with all my certainty, you will be unhappy & miserable.
What do we do instead?
Nobody is focused on growing the way you are. You may think its not okay and that you should leave or bend their way of thinking to yours. But, it creates more friction, more work, and more time that you don’t have. You want someone to grow, build and become better with together. However, you’ve no sight of that in your area.
But guess what?
If you try to fix others, you will feel 10x more unfulfilled than you would if you just let it be. You’re not their savior. And that’s okay, because what we do? We accept.
If you have no expectations, settle, and accept each individual as they are. Then, you wouldn’t be disappointed, affected nor would you take in the noise that your brain would come up with. Therefore, allowing yourself to focus on your pursuit and in the process—your environment becomes far more enjoyable than before because, you have no expectations that you’ll find someone to grow, build and become better with together. You’ve spent this much time ‘alone’ and you’ve turned out just fine. You’ll come to realize that the more you accept where you’re at—rather than working everyday of your life fighting to get away will make you feel less lonely, more open, and present with the people you’re with. Not seeing them as ‘not one of me’ but as someone who’s got another unique perspective to life.
Get rid of the needing to make it now, focusing solely on the outcome—but put your perspective on just, this:
“The process is the reward, not the outcome”
This game of pursuing your purpose is one of obsession. One of sacrifice, one of isolation and improvement to make the ends meet, to reach ‘success’.
But, success isn’t about reaching a status, it’s not exploding past the area you live in as fast as possible it’s about letting the place you’re in now, grow you into the individual that’s capable of holding the future success you desire the most. Refuse the lone wolf mentality, become integrated and you get the best of both worlds.